


Crumpled Pieces of Paper Found in the Wastebasket of Count Rugen

by rosefox



Category: Princess Bride (1987)
Genre: Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-25
Updated: 2006-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-25 08:05:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1640483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosefox/pseuds/rosefox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyrone is very, very lonely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crumpled Pieces of Paper Found in the Wastebasket of Count Rugen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mazily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mazily/gifts).



My Liege,

Now that you have gone haring off after your would-be princess and left me, alone, to keep watch over this drafty castle and recover from the wounds dealt by that damnable Spaniard, I am free to speak my mind, or in this case, write it. I doubt I will ever have the courage to show you this letter, but I must get these thoughts out of my head somehow.

I love you

\-----

My Liege,

How could you be so cruel as to chase after her when you know I sit here awaiting your return? We could be so happy together, you and I. Why do you need your women and your wars? Aren't I good enough

\-----

My Liege,

I hate you.

\-----

My Liege,

All is well with the castle and your parents. The townspeople are a bit restless, awaiting your return with your bride. None is more restless than I, who toss and turn with a heavy heart all the nights that you stay away. The bed seems so cold, so empty without you. There are days when I am tempted to succumb to my darkest urges and open the other door to the laboratory. The pain of the recluse's bite or the anaconda's embrace would be sweet and welcome pleasure after the agony of your departure. I hate you I hate you I hate you. That simple-minded blonde hussy WHY WHY WHY BASTARD WHY

\-----

Hump,

Come home. I miss you.

[signature, slightly blurred by tearstains]

 


End file.
